Who am I? Why am I here? What is all this about? What’s the point of life? What difference can I make? What defines me?
Whoever you are. Whatever you do. I am sure you have faced those questions. Sometimes they knock at our minds when we face those rare moments when there is no noise around us. Sometimes they mould and define us as we carve out our place in this world. Some of us never truly discover the answers.
Many of us are defined by the titles and boxes of what we do: I am a parent, I am a nurse, I am a teacher, an IT consultant, a cleaner, a banker, a student, an employee, a manager, a boss, a leader. Often that is all the world around us wants to know ‘What do you do?’ As if by knowing what you do it can quickly sum up ‘Who you are’ and more importantly ‘how significant or important’ you are.
But that is only part of the story.
As John Maxwell says: “In our culture, people ask, “what do you do?” not, “who are you?” or “How are you making a difference?”. Most people place too much emphasis on titles and position instead of on impact.”
So some of us look to personality types: I am an introvert, an extrovert, a thinker, a doer, an explorer, realist, creative, pioneer….
All these things help us to explain who we are and help other people to understand us more. But these things can also place us in boxes that we can’t escape from. Boxes that are only half the story. (I always find myself in the middle of a few, struggling to pin point labels that actually make sense of who I really am.)
What if we were less caught up by trying to be ‘defined’ by positions, titles and labels and more caught up in discovering and embracing our own uniqueness. Instead of allowing ourselves to be dictated by the boxes we are placed in, and place ourselves into, what if we gave ourselves and others the space to find out who we really are and who we are meant to be.
Looking beyond titles.
Seeing the real person rather than just their position.
Speaking about people as individuals, rather than grouping them together under headings that supposedly define them.
Allowing people to break free from their past and the labels that have been attached to them.
What if we were less caught up by trying to be ‘defined’ by position, titles and labels and more caught up in discovering and embracing our own uniqueness.
These questions have defined a lot of my life. My life’s journey has often battled the quest for labels and titles that ‘define me’. Names that I can hold up as badges to explain who I am and gain credibility & others approval, in a world where people love to feel ‘important’. And while I have, at times, desired those badges, they often seem to have eluded me. (Which has, at times, been a challenging journey and a personal battle I have had to face.)
But I have learnt that until I stop trying to be defined by ‘titles’ or ‘positions’, I will not push through to discover who I am really meant to be. Until I give up the need to explain to others who I really am and instead just BE who I am, I will not allow others room to be who they really are, regardless of their labels, titles or positions.
So I choose to believe that it is not ‘how important’ we sound that defines us. It is not the boxes of labels, titles and positions, whether self-imposed or imposed on us by others, that dictate who we really are.
We are who we are.
With a unique past, present and future.
Not to be tied down by one definition.
Not to be defined by someone else’s words or phrases.
Until I give up the need to explain to others who I really am and instead just BE who I am, I will not allow others room to be who they really are
I wonder what life would be like if we all stepped back from the badges, titles, positions and labels that have defined us all for too long. And instead sought to be real and honest with ourselves.
Seeking to discover the:
That we all have.
And just get comfortable in our own skin.